I was just recalling the Buddhist parable of the two arrows which I find very useful. The first arrow that hits us is something *real* that happens to us in life that causes pain. This could be something fairly minor like someone not texting us back or missing a bus or something major like losing a job or experiencing a bereavement.
The pain we feel from the first arrow is *inevitable* however instead of dealing with that pain we often pick up the second arrow and stab ourselves over and over again by having judgmental thoughts like “why me?” “I’m useless” “bad things always happen to me” .”everybody hates me” etc etc – these judgmental thoughts are causing suffering which is *optional*
Next time something difficult happens try to notice when you are reaching for the second arrow and put it down! Choose instead to tend to the first arrow. Notice, with kindness, what the hurt and pain feels like to you – allow it to be there by gently “feeling” it which can help it to eventually lessen and heal ❤️